Saturday, July 2, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
What comes to your mind when you hear the word “summer?” Maybe the first thing that entered to your mind is going to the beach or to pools? Maybe in that case you’re wearing a sexy summer outfit with your new sun glasses. Summer is the best moment to do whatever you want, to spend more time with your family, to hangout with your friends, to improve something you want to, to take some rest from a very rest-less school year, to get back those things you have loose, or maybe to fall in love again? There are many ways to spend your summer and it depends upon you. Summer is everyone’s happiness
Me, I might say that my summer is “random”. Many unexpected events happened to my life on summer days. Let me share you my summer 2011. It’s Friday night, and it’s the 3rd day of our vacation, I was thinking what I should do because I don’t enjoy my summer last year, I just sit in front of my computer, stalking, posted something worthless, and I don’t even go to google to search something that will give me information etc. Honestly, I don’t even enjoy it. So, I have planned to do something resourceful. First thing, I want to learn how to play guitar, because before believe me or not I’m not a music lover and I don’t know everything when it comes to music and musical instruments. Good thing, I don’t need to buy some, because one of my closest friends gave me a green guitar on my birthday. Secondly, I want to read and read and read English novel books. Yes, I used to buy books from book sale because it’s so affordable; one of the books I bought costs P5.00 only! Sadly, I don’t give time to read those books, sometimes I just read the first page until the third page and after that I put it down and never read it again. I don’t know why I’m so lazy about reading English books; I find it so hard to understand. And my last plan is to improve my writing skills in English, to improve my grammars, my vocabulary and so on. I have my own reason why I want to improve my writing skills in English, but there is a story behind that. It’s Sunday afternoon and one of my formspring friend told me not to speak English at all because my grammars are all wrong. It makes me down, feel like I’m useless at all. But, I realized that I should use that kind of criticism to be better and to improve myself and make them realize that I’m better than them. Time is fast, so I might start early. I start doing my plans slowly but surely. I promised to myself that my plans would have a good result.
Time passes by and I don’t even notice that I stop doing my plans. What I always do are staying up so late, using computer on the whole day. I feel like I’m so strong and I can do everything. Tuesday morning, Dean, my NAT mate, commented on my photo, asking what camera I used and I answered “digital camera” after that we chat, we have shared everything about our lives. And then the day came, he told me that he like me, he love me not as just friends but for more. I was shocked because, I treated him as my friend. I just ignore that. Wednesday morning, my mom asked me to do some favors, like to wash out clothes, to clean the house, and many more!!! I just follow it. On that day, we have planned to visit my cousin’s new born baby, good thing my tita and other cousins will go there too and that is a family bonding. On the way home, haven’t taken my dinner yet, I sat down, and I feel so lonely I don’t know why. Suddenly, I was yawning and when I close my mouth, my jaws impact we’re not good because I have a locking jaw. The speed of time is there, I feel so sick; dizziness is there and breathe shortage. I panic, I don’t know what to do, don’t love because the first thing I do is to get my dog and hug her tight and my feeling is getting worst, I go to mom and tell what I feel. I ask myself, is this my last day here in Earth? Please I don’t want to die early; I have so many dreams in life. My dad asks me if I want to go to the hospital, I said ‘I don’t want’, my skin is getting cold and I’m out of myself. My dad call our neighbor who’s a nurse, my BP is not that high but not normal, she advices me to take a rest and don’t stay so late at night. After that day, I feel so weak and my body’s condition was not good compared to the old-time. I thought, I was okay already but I was wrong. I find it so hard to breathe, and my heart beats so fast. I can’t even sleep properly at night; I always think what is happening to me. I feel so sad and lonely. I don’t even use my computer, my phone. I please my dad for me to have a check-up. The doctor said, I’m just stress and he said I’m just nervous. My parents asked if there is something I don’t tell them like problems etc. and they told me to always pray and believe to God because he’s the best doctor. That experience made me realized that I forget God, I forget to pray and to give thanks to him, and I don’t take care of myself, I always eat junk foods and drink sodas and I often drink water. Like what I’ve said earlier that I’m so strong and I can do everything, I was wrong I have learned so many things about that and I don’t want to happen again. I promised to God that I will be his servant forever. By this time I always pray before eating and before sleeping unlike before.
After I recover, I have planned to make a guitar cover. I posted that on facebook. I know my voice is not good enough, also my guitar skills, but It’s just a trial. I’m happy because my schoolmate also my friends in facebook named Andrei, Aj, Allen, liked my video and they gave me advices to improve my work. I sign in to my Tumblr account, (1) messages, a message from an anonymous stated “Your voice is a major disaster and you even have the guts to post this video? You suck! You are putting yourself in shame. What the heck.” I get sad. I just tried. I know that anon. I ignore it again, seems like nothing happened.
It’s not the end of summer. I don’t expect this person to come in my life. I don’t even know him personally. So, it’s a normal day, someone sends me a personal message thru facebook chat. I don’t know what he has why I like him. He has all the characteristics I’m finding. For short, he’s my ideal man. I’m happy to find him early. He’s older than me, he’s 18 now. My friend told me that age doesn’t matter and I agree with that. One time he’s asking permission to court me. My mind have changed, I don’t want to have a secret relationship with him. Because in my place, I’m too young for that, I have imagined all negative things that are possible to happen when I decide to be his girlfriend. I tell him to stay away from me because I’m not the right girl for him; there are many girls out there who are better than me. He’s the right man at the wrong time.
Another day has passed by. I thought, everything will be fine, everything will be okay, until two of my so-called “friends” started hating me, and they’re posting on their blog like “So there’s this girl whom irritates me so much. Not that I hate her but… Ugh. I can’t explain what I really feel to her. I don’t know if it’s right to say this but she really looks stupid sometimes. She keeps on posting stupid things on her social networking sites. She doesn’t even think about the feedbacks she’ll get from us, viewers. I feel so mean right now but this is me. There’s nothing you can do about it. I think the best thing to do is to stay away from her. “And my other friend said “because she’s so pasikat and she’s too confident. She even thinks what she’s “doing” is cool. :»” Because I posted a picture of mine. They said why I posted that I look so funny, stupid etc. They didn’t know that they already hated my feelings?
Hmm, I’m not disappointed if I won’t able to finish my plans. I’m
Summer is not the best time to enjoy. Summer is also the best time to serve God, to discover more about God.